Scott Frost must be fired before the end of the month [Update]

The last time we checked with Nebraska head coach Scott Frost, he was busy bragging about how often players on his offensive line threw up during preseason practices. That’s perhaps the kind of thing a permanent and perennially successful head coach can get away with barking at:he’s crazy, but his methods work!—but when a guy who wins a little over 30 percent of his games does it, it comes off as a try. Regardless, the Cornhuskers are three games into the season now, so let’s see where all that effort has gotten them.

Right in The Jamoke Zone, that’s where! The Huskers lost their first game of the season away from home at Northwestern, bounced back with a 38-17 victory over FCS North Dakota at home, and yesterday were beaten at home by Georgia Southern, 45-42. South Georgia! At home! After going 1-2 in their three opening-season cupcake games, Nebraska has to prepare to host Oklahoma next week, and it already looks like Frost has another lost season on his hands.

Delivering 45 points to a Sun Belt team at home should be the thing that puts a final bullet in Frost’s tenure, and yet it’s hard to believe there’s still one waiting to be fired. Frost has been fucking this exact way since 2018, when he was hired and tasked with restoring some glory to a fading show. He has yet to put together a single winning season. His career record as head coach currently stands at 16-31. Mike Riley, the guy who was fired to clear the way for Frost, went 19-19 in his three seasons in charge.

After the match, Frost looked like a guy who knows his time is up and spoke like one, too. “We win as a team and we lose as a team” have been the last words of dozens of coaches speaking from the deathbed of his career, and Frost is well wrapped up. The interesting question now is not if Frost will be canned, but when. In a delightful twist, it would actually be better for Frost to get fired as soon as possible.

Frost recently restructured his contract, and a new buyout clause will go into effect on Oct. 1, 2022. If Frost is fired after that date, then Nebraska will have to pay him $7.5 million to get him out. However, if he is fired before then, he will still be owed the $15 million buyout that was in the previous version of his contract.

As someone who doesn’t give a damn about Nebraska football and thinks Frost is some kind of chump, this information has me rubbing my hands in greedy anticipation. Frost is one of the few people in history to have found herself in something resembling a Brewster’s Millions situation. There can be no doubt in his mind that he won’t survive this season, so the only logical thing for him to do is try to get fired before Oct. 1.

Next week’s game against Oklahoma is his last chance to leave school with no choice but to fire him, which means he’ll have to lose in a more humiliating way if he wants that extra $7.5 million. My suggestions: call nothing but quarterback draws during the first half; angrily approach an officer and yell, “Is that allowed? Explain to me how that can be allowed!” every time Oklahoma scores; work your players so hard they puke; eat several hotdogs on the side during the second half; vomit in the field.

Updated (13:27): He is rich!

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